Serenity ⁉ Film Review


Written by Thelonia

Serenity is one of the wildest, most bafflingly earnest movies I’ve ever seen, something which is whole heartedly helped by the fact that I had literally no idea this movie existed until about four days ago, when I heard a couple of critics talk about how fucking weird it is. And, my friends, I can now indeed confirm, it’s weird as hell.

The set-up of the movie could briefly make you think this is a Moby Dick like venture, with Matthew McConaughey locked in a bitter battle with a giant Tuna, who is sometimes referred to as “The Beast,” and, hilariously, “Justice.” (Side note: this led me on a slight Googling tangent because I wondered how big Tuna get, and the answer is: much too big; the ocean scares me deeply).

You could be forgiven in thinking this is what the movie’s going to be about (put aside the first frame of the movie in which we’re looking through a young boy’s eyes, that’s totally not coming back about fifty times throughout the movie), but we also have a couple of wrenches in the cogs: a skinny man with the general vibe of that one guy who got his face melted off in Indiana Jones, who keeps running after McConaughey and acts like a robot (what’s that guy’s deal? Again, don’t worry about it), and Anne Hathaway, who is honestly much too good for this (McConaughey is not, but by god are they both giving this terrible script their all). Hathaway, McConaughey’s ex (and mother to his son – don’t worry about him), has come to him to set up her husband’s murder (Jason Clarke, whose face I have seen a lot because I keep seeing that goddamn Pet Sematary trailer).
This is ostensibly what the rest of the movie is about. Except it’s not.

If you’ve heard anything about this movie before reading this, it’s probably that it has a weird ass twist, and I am here to tell you: it does, but it happens so much earlier than you may expect. Also, it is very stupid, and also, everyone really throws the entirety of themselves into it.

I honestly have been having a hard time lining up everything that happens in this movie, because it is a LOT, but all I can really say is: if you enjoy watching complete train wrecks where absolutely no one is even attempting to try the brakes, or if you really want to see Matthew McConaughey’s ass (or for that matter, watch Anne Hathaway saying “Daddy” about eighty times), this is the movie for you. Otherwise, you may want to wait until this thing is available to stream (and maybe combine with a drinking game, the likes of which I am going to start drafting asap).

Serenity is currently in theaters.

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