Dream Daddy 💖 Game Review


Written by Thelonia


Well, here we are.

If you have read the title of this review, then you already have an impression of what this is going to consist of. And I am here to tell you it's not what you'd think of at first, but it also is 100% what you think it is. To be honest the worst part about Dream Daddy is having to say the name out loud to people when you want to recommend they play it (which they should, it's cute and funny and deserves the love it's getting).

I set out to follow where my road naturally led, but it turns out you can basically date all of them at once, only diverging right at the end when you make your third dates with each. So I gained access to basically all the Dads almost immediately (with the exception of Robert, aka ‘knife dad,’ who I locked out on because of a bad early choice in the game). Still, I have pretty set impressions of each Dad Experience that I have written for posterity’s sake, and if you are here, you will probably read.



Hugo:

I guess the one that appealed to me the most right off the bat? Mostly because he gossips about his students but also because he takes you to the aquarium and infodumps on you. His route is strange but fun, and covers a lot of ground, from cheese boards (which reading about did give me very sudden cravings) and a hidden passion for professional wrestling. He’s very cute and calls a student ‘bitch,’ even if his son is sort of a little shit.

A+ Literature (& Wrestling) Nerd Dad.



Brian:

AKA the one with the corgi. Brian and the MC have a fun relationship based on competitive Dad Fighting about whose daughter is better (this does initially take on the form of a Pokémon mini-game where you brag about your children’s accomplishments at each other). Eventually, whilst stuck on a ferris wheel, you do come to terms about the fact that you're stuck in a Pride and Prejudice type scenario where each one thinks the other one doesn't like them and then they realize they do like each other after all. Also you save a goldfish that got stuck on Splash Mountain.

His daughter’s adorable and he cooks really well, and he is high on the list of should-date dads.

A+ Fighting Words Dad.



Robert:

Choosing to romance Robert while looking at an array of smiling, functional Dads is sort of like wandering into the pound and choosing the jumpiest, most skittish dog only to discover he’s got a heart of gold (after you get bit a few times). I locked out of his route the first time around, cause I was a slut, but on a replay, Robert is the kind of emotionally distant Dad whose children you never see, who hunts for cryptids in cemeteries at night. I love him, but he takes some work (and there really only is a “I can’t commit right now but I do like you” sort of ending, which is real but also might not be everyone’s bag of tea). I ate pizza with pineapple on it for him.

A+ Cryptid Dad.



Damien:

If you decide to go to the mall at the beginning of the game, you run into Damien in a (not, for legal reasons) Hot Topic arguing about the historical accuracy of a Victorian Blouse he has purchased there. This is pretty much 80% of what you need to know about Damien. He has a lot of knowledge of the Victorian period, which he will tell you about, and is all around a cute goober with hidden troves of Naruto fanfic in his goth library. He is a good parent to his goth child, is trans, and his third date is all about dogs.

A+ Goth Dad.



Mat:

Mat has a coffee shop which sells baked goods with exclusively corny pun names and takes you to Punk-Rock concerts. He seems to have some variation of social anxiety, used to be in a band, and saves you when you start horribly embarrassing yourself playing awful Ska by yourself on stage. I love him and so should you.

A+ Coffee Pun Dad.



Craig:

Craig is your bro from college who got weirdly into working out. It felt weird flirting with him because we called each other ‘bro’ in every other line, and also he had a baby strapped to him the entire game. The baby was cute though.

This whole route felt like a string of those ‘bro’ memes (“I can see the whole world in your eyes bro.” “You are my whole world, bro.” “Bro!” etc…). This route was cute and all, but I could never fall for a bro, bro. Felt more overall like a friendship path than a romance path (well, up until kissing happens).

He has cute kids and his twin children aren’t terrifying.

B+ Sports Dad.



Joseph:

Joseph is the equivalent of a saltine cracker at a potluck and I refuse to romance him. I literally can't get myself to do it. But I have heard that his path ends with him fucking you on a boat and then dumping you and returning to his wife SO...

His whole shtick is that he's the youth minister. His wife hits on you right at the beginning of the game (she is the best, sort of wish I could give her more love in-game), and he has a horde of children (well, four), all named variations of Christ, which is, um, moving on.

D- Cheater Dad.


Final Thoughts:


All in all, this is a really cute very text-heavy game that is a great time if you like reading & romancing and also are okay with some of the dads not being as romanceable as some of the other ones. Definitely check it out if it sounds like it might be up your alley!

If you want more of a look at the game, Tia and I played through it and edited down the footage into two short parts that give you a glimpse at the gameplay and story. You can check it out on our YouTube channel, or below:




Dream Daddy is available through Steam on both PC & Mac.

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