Written by Thelonia & Tia

Netflix did a really good job not pushing this newest season of Santa Clarita Diet, but we knew we had to catch up with the gang and their murderous shenanigans! Check out our previous coverage of the show in both podcast form and write-up here.

(301) Wuffenloaf

Synopsis: Sheila (sort of) deals with Anne's belief in her chosen-by-God story, which does not go according to plan. Meanwhile, Abby and Eric are covering for their eco-terrorism by pretending to date, and the Nazi eating plan runs into a bit of a wall when it turns out Sheila and Joel are already on their radar. Also, some Serbians are showing up in Santa Clarita looking for the undead, and it's going to be a problem for Sheila.

Best Line: "We just have to kill a Nazi, and lucky for us, there are more of them than ever!"

Thelonia: I expected Nazi eating and I was not disappointed. Also uh, Anne's willing to do the shopping that is definitely going to be an issue in the future.

Tia: God, what a quote. I missed the craziness of this show! The comedy and the bloodshed and sweet, well-meaning Anne. Oh, Anne. She's going to be such a problem, for sure, despite her efforts to be... otherwise.

(302) Knighttime

Synopsis: Sheila and Joel deal with Joel's hospital buddy Ron, who's in deep with the whole zombie thing, as well as their rival realty couple Chris and Christa, who might be new Knights of Serbia targets, and the concept of immortality.

Best Line: "Ooooh, look who's afraid to punch a cop."

Thelonia: While I do think it would be funny for the knights to go after Chris and Christa, it does also seem like that may involve a crossbow so the comedy value really plummets. Also I hope the knight who's going off to Hawaii to be with the love of his life has a good time, I wish him all the best.

Tia: Me, too. What a trade off... We all know there' s no way Chris and Christa are going to survive this without help, but I kind of wouldn't blame Sheila and Joel if they didn't, you know, get there in time.

(303) We Let People Die Every Day

Synopsis: Anne refuses to back off of the whole Sheila-God mission, which leads to . Meanwhile, Sheila and Joel realize they never gave Gary's head the serum and have to deal with what to do with his mostly rotten head in their basement, the FBI are investigating the fracking site explosion and Sheila asks Joel to join her in immortality. But mostly, Christa's entire life depends on her eating some lukewarm potato salad from a stranger.

Best Line: "Great. Let's go save her life so she can die naturally one day in a tanning bed accident."

Thelonia: Can't believe Christa and Joel just straight up got stabbed with pens this episode. Also using Gary's head as their first employee seems like the perfect solution since Sheila and Joel spend a lot of time planning murder and not necessarily doing their jobs.

Tia: Yes, big yes, to all of this. Gary looks so incredibly awful that this seems like the only actual option for him anyway. Sorry, Gary. And the whole potato salad/pen stabbing scene had me practically dead... my love for Maggie Lawson only grows.

(304) More of a Cat Person

Synopsis: One of Anne's church group comes to Sheila for help with her ex-husband problems, Sheila wants to resurrect her Mr. Ball-Legs, and Ramona shows back up in Santa Clarita.

Best Line: "He's a mucous-covered peach pit with spindly legs. And I'm more of a cat person."

Thelonia: Can't believe as soon as I said that about them rarely doing their jobs, we have them at an open house. Also, I am very concerned about what Mr. Ball-Legs did to that terrible man. Those were not good sounds. Also every local store that sells those plastic tarp things must be making the big bucks, Jesus Christ that's a lot of splatter protection in everyone's house.

Tia: Oh my god, you're right. Whatever Mr. Ball-Legs can do... it doesn't seem good. And yeah! Absolutely everyone has their own roll of it! Also, what is the deal with Eric and Abby? I can't quite tell which way their storyline is going to go.

(305) Belle and Sebastian Kill the Head

Synopsis: Sheila volunteers for meals on wheels, Eric's Mom gets serious about keeping Eric out of jail, and Tommy tries to kill Sheila a whole bunch.

Best Line: "I'm gonna go to culinary school, or sail around the world, or become a doula, or work in a bird store."

Thelonia: The sound of Sheila eating Ron's baby teeth is gonna keep me awake at night.

Tia: Nothing is more stressful than all these murder attempts! As a huge fan of corn nuts, I very gladly choose crunchy baby teeth sounds over being hunted by a murder man any day.

(306) The Chicken and the Pear

Synopsis: Joel decides to become a Knight of Serbia to protect Sheila, which involves passing a series of strange tests. Meanwhile, Sheila takes Abby to her difficult meals on wheels assignment, Jean, who opens up to Abby's sense of humor. And Ron's lack of control when it comes to biting people raises some issues.

Best Line: "When I was little, you said I could grow up to be anything I wanted, and I want to be someone who gets to use this sweet-ass knife."

Thelonia: We do love a family that kills together. Abby may want some therapy after this shit though.

Tia: Abby is mixed up in everything now. But so far she's still keeping it together better than Joel on... any day. Also, I lost my mind when it was revealed what the "chicken and pear" test was all about. Lost it.

(307) A Specific Form of Recklessness

Synopsis: Sheila turns Jean undead without telling anyone else, leading to a lot of awkward conversations in regards to Ron's current policy of turning anyone who wants to be turned. And Sheila and Joel learn the hard way that it's not the wisest move to leave a rotting body in a hot car.

Best Line: "Times have changed since 9/11, honey. You can't just drive a corpse onto a runway and throw it into a jet engine anymore."

Thelonia: Crime crossover between family members is some beautiful synchronicity. Also goddamn those Serbian dudes are slowly getting to the actual zombies. That's not going to go well.

Tia: They've gotta do something about Ron, too. He is one day away from starting the zombie apocalypse. Everything is really closing in!

(308) Forever!

Synopsis: Jean gets used to her new people-diet, Abby proves herself to her parents as a proper heir to Joel's Knight of Serbia application.

Best Line: "We can be firm. Remember that time she wanted a guinea pig and we said no, and then we got it for her? Let's just do the first half of that."

Thelonia: Post explosion Joel and Sheila are a mess. I love them.

Tia: Me, too. And post murder Sheila and Jean have such good bonding energy. Is this Gilmore Girls?

(309) Zombody

Synopsis: The family prepares for a visit from the High Priestess of the Knights of Serbia, the Serbians get a bit undead after a pep talk from Ron, and Abby makes a friend with whom to do more crimes.

Best Line: "And while I always saw myself dying at home, it was peacefully in bed, not slipping on my own guts trying to get to the phone."

Thelonia: There's a lot in the air at the moment and a lot of dead people wandering around and it's gonna be a mess.

Tia: "Murdering zombies is a moral issue" is my favorite new TV theme. Where is the iZombie crossover of my dreams?!

(310) The Cult of Sheila

Synopsis: It all comes down to the Hammond's launch party for their business, but some uninvited visitors put a couple of spans in the works.

Best Line: "You were supposed to stay in your apartment until we kill you!"

Thelonia: I do not know how this show manages to keep upping the stakes every season but Jesus this one's a lot - is Joel gonna be okay? Is he a Zombie now or just a weird dude? I NEED TO KNOW, NETFLIX. GET ON IT.

Tia: I KNOW, RIGHT? OUR SWEET PRECIOUS JOEL! But bad news for us then, considering Santa Clarita Diet just got canceled by Netflix. Until it hopefully gets picked up elsewhere, I'll stick to hoping that Joel is okay, just a little possessed by Mr. Ball Legs, and that if he's turned, he's okay with that!

Thelonia: Yeah, I'm really hoping that Netflix (or someone else???) picks up SCD for at least one last season. I NEED TO KNOW what's up with possessed Joel. Not only is that a wild curveball for the show to throw at us, it gives Timothy Olyphant the opportunity to play not-the-straight-man for the first time in forever. LET THE MAN GET SOME ACTING OPPORTUNITIES.

The first three seasons of Santa Clarita Diet is currently available for streaming on Netflix. Do you  guys have any ideas what direction the show could be going now? (I refuse to accept it's dead for good). Comment your ideas of what the next season would be below!


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